Considering Marriage Advice For The Newly-hitched!
Thereís a big step from engaged to married. Itís not just exchanging rings and wedding vows, itís exchanging one lifestyle for another. Even as an engaged person you had a certain independence that meant you had some space of your own. There was a part of your day or night that you were your own person. In a marriage this more or less disappears completely. No matter how much freedom you have in your marriage, how flexible the boundaries Ė you still have to remember that there is now someone else that you must keep 100% in your life-loop! If youíre going to be late from work, you need to make sure your husband/wife knows.
If you arenít going to be home for supper, they need to know. If you arenít going to be able to get the dry cleaning on the way home, and itís needed for the next day, they need to know so they can go get it! This is a major life change. At first it feels as if you are back answering to your parents! You may even rebel against the idea. But think about it for a moment. Your husband/wife always walks through the door at 6.
52pm Ė give or take 4 minutes. You have supper waiting on the table. At 7.20pm supper is cold, and they still havenít arrived.25pm when they walk through the door, youíre halfway through dialing the number for the local hospital because youíre sure somethingís happened to them. They smile and apologize for being late but they got caught up in a last minute meeting. No thought to the anguish youíve been through picturing them hurt or worse! You donít want to be the one feeling this way, and so make sure you donít do the same kind of thing to your beloved! Letting your partner know your schedule is a sign of consideration. Of acknowledging that this other person cares about you and will worry if you are not where youíve said youíll be at the time you said youíll be there. Gone too are the days when you could say ďSure, Iíll come for pizza tonight!Ē to work colleagues without even thinking about it.
First of all you need to call your partner and tell them that this is what youíre planning, and making sure that theyíre ok with it. Yes, I know, too bad if they arenít, but they may have made other plans for the evening that you donít know about and so it is worth checking first! Consideration for your new husband or wife is the first and most important aspect of your marriage during the early days because itís the thing thatís most difficult to adjust too. Is your music too loud? Does your partner want to watch a different channel? Do you take all the blankets in bed? Do you snore? You donít check these things because you benefit, nor as a partner would you usually complain about them, but you do them because you want your marriage to be a partnership with two equal partners. If you argue about something, find common middle ground. There should be no power struggle if both parties respect each other enough to accept that both people are entitled to hold differing viewpoints. Donít back down from confrontation, donít press forward your advantage, be considerate towards each other and negotiate a situation you can both agree to. In the early weeks and months of marriage, youíll find many things new and sometimes not exactly the way you thought theyíd be, but if both parties add consideration to their menu of love, trust and respect, then married life will soon settle down and youíll become accustomed to doing things without resentment or obligation. Youíll do them because you want too.
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